Why We Should Never Judge Other People’s Relationships
The Ted Lasso Wisdom Chronicles
** SPOILER ALERT **
Please note that if you haven’t watched the amazing show Ted Lasso, this article is full of spoilers. If you’ve already seen the show or don’t plan to, proceed. If you haven’t but would like to, either save this for later, go and watch it (you may binge the 3 seasons quickly) and come back… or enjoy my perspective, watch the show, and see if we agree. 😊
In the beginning, Coach Beard meets a seemingly innocent new love interest named Jane playing chess. Yay for love interests!
In the beginning, we see scenes of him being so awkward and nervous around her, that we are sure that he is too quirky for her. We think that it’s never going to work because he’s just too… well “Beard”.
“Crazy” Jane
Then, as the show progresses, we start to see that Jane is actually very manipulative and loves to play mind games like in the following clip.
Over the season, we keep seeing that Jane is “obviously crazy”. She’s jealous of Ted’s relationship with Beard. She needs to be constantly texting. She breaks up with him sometimes multiple times per day. She is crazy, right? Beard should run for the border, right?
But relationships are much more interesting, complex, and full of strange potential when we look more closely at the details.
Beard’s Journey
In the beginning, we love Beard (well, we ALWAYS love Beard) because he is Ted’s saviour over and over again. While Ted knows nothing about soccer, Beard reads all the books and keeps Ted in the know. Phew! Beard is always there for Ted no matter what happens. He’s always there for a beer, a talk, or simply someone who shows up at exactly the right time when Ted needs him most. We seriously love him.
However, because this show always lets us see all aspects of the human experience within each character, we also get to see into Beard’s more challenging sides. After one devastating football loss, Beard takes off for a night on the dark side of town.
In this episode, we start to get glimpses of his inner critical voice. We see him end up in a street fight, which he seems to desire on some level. We see him in church asking for answers, and then in the bar shown above dancing the wildness out seeking to find himself (and of course his lost love (again) Jane).
Here’s a hilarious clip of the ONE TIME that Beard stepped in to do a press conference.
We are starting to realize that Beard has more going on inside than we might have previously thought. Then we find out Beard’s true story when he forgives Nate below:
Being Perfect for Each Other
The crazy thing is that we can never look at only one person or the other to decide whether a relationship is going to work. Similarly, it’s never one person’s fault when it doesn’t. Both people are always playing.
There is a beautiful scene in the movie Good Will Hunting (one of my all-time favs) where Robin Williams’ character explains that we don’t have to be perfect in relationships. Nobody’s “perfect” if there even is such a thing. The question is, “Are you perfect for each other”?
Happily Ever After
Of course, in the end, we all realize that Beard and Jane are perfect for each other. Are they quirky? Yes! Do they have stuff to work out with/on each other? Yeppers!
But of course, this is what sets our hearts at ease. It reminds us that we don’t have to be like some Hollywood version of relationships. We don’t have to be perfectly enlightened, emotionally stable, learned, or have a clear track record.
We get to be ourselves… and one day our personal version of our friend Beard will find our own personal Jane… and live happily ever after. 🙃
Katrina Bos is a Tantra teacher, author, and serious Ted Lasso fan. To find out more about her non-Ted-Lasso life and work, please visit KATRINABOS.CA
Hang out with people who enjoy your weirdness. 😜